As you’d expect, I’ve learnt a lot of things while being pregnant. The most minor thing will set you off in floods of tears; the middle of the bed is now where your human size pillow resides, and people’s need to comment on the size of your bump – including strangers.
I’m carrying twins, two babies, so naturally, my bump will be ‘bigger’ than most, and I get it; it’s right there in front of you. You can’t help noticing it. But guess what? That doesn’t mean you need to voice your thoughts.
I get that you probably don’t mean anything by it, but in short, it’s rude. If I had put a little weight on during lockdown or over the Christmas period, would my size be the first thing you’d comment on? I’d hope not!
I remember attending a dentist appointment at 22 weeks. When I told my dentist how far along I was, her response was, “Oh wow, you’re so big already.” This woman, who I see for 15 minutes every two years, left me feeling like I had to validate the size of my bump, and so I replied, “Well, there are two babies in there.” Flippant comments like this can easily get stuck in a woman’s head – and it’s not like we don’t already have enough to worry about!
A few weeks later, I was shopping for a pregnancy pillow in my local Dunelm. As the store assistant pointed me in the direction of the correct department, she asked me how long I had left. When I replied “12 weeks”, the look of horror, as she stared at my growing bump and replied, “Oh, wow”, was palpable.
It’s common knowledge that women carry their pregnancy in different ways, and there are a number of reasons why; many can be self-conscious about it. So, whether I’m bigger than what you would perceive to be average, or I’m not showing as much as you would expect, keep your thoughts to yourself.
When you see a pregnant friend or family member who you haven’t seen in a while, rather than commenting on the size of their bump, why not compliment them? “Congratulations”, “Being pregnant suits you”, “You look great”, “You’re glowing” are just some examples. But if you’re unsure of what to say, perhaps don’t say anything at all.
Oh, and do NOT touch my belly without asking. But, that’s a whole different conversation.